I was reading this book called, "A woman after God's own heart." by Elizabeth George. How ironic I thought that she is the author my the other book I am reading, "Walking with women of the Bible."
This is ispired from, "A woman after God's own heart." Both of these books are women's devotionals.
I wanted to share a passage from the book of Luke that I relate to that was pointed out to me in the book. Elizabeth George pointed out how Mary (Martha's sister) was awomen after God's own heart and how eager she was to learn what Jesus had to say when he came to her house. How ever I am not always like Mary. I relate more toward Martha, here is why.
(At the home of Martha and Mary)
"As Jesus and his disciples were on their way he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She cam to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:38-42 NIV)
One thing I had pointed out to me by the minister at my new church is that when Jesus says someones name twice it is a sign of compassion. So the Lord had compassion for Martha as he listened to her complaint. She was worrying about all the wrong things. I realise it is more than just letting the Lord in to your house and going about your business. Many times I pass up a time to sit and listen to him. It's like God there is so much to do here can you just give me someone to help me and I will listen to you later? I may not be the best house keeper and chore tracker but I tend to find other things to preoccupy my time with other than sitting at the feet of the Lord and lsitening. I have been doing a lot more devotions lately. I am trying to be less like Martha and more like Mary. I feel like I'm the one to do everything around here and I can just have time with the Lord later. Like I feel everything has to be perfect first before I can let him enter my heart. He accepts me with out having everything in it's place. If the dishes aren't done, dinner's not ready yet, laundry isn't done, tae kwon do practicing isn't done and what ever else. I just have to sit there and let God in my heart. I long to be more like Mary who I bet just thought "Wow, what an honnor to have this man in my house. I desire to learn from him." She was the only woman amongst the men there that day. God didn't care she was a woman, he welcomed her all the same. He wanted Martha to stop and relax and listen to him too I bet. Sometimes it's like I feel I have God on the brain while I'm doing something but do I sit and listen? Sometimes when I do I feel like I do all the talking still. I have been so changed by my new church it's awesome this feeling I have inside. I still have mending to do, but healing comes with time.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
healed
Jesus turned and saw her, "Take heart, daughter," he said, "your faith has healded you." And the woman was healed from that moment." Matthew 9:22
So the saying is time heals all wounds. I guess that means about how long it takes an individual to come to Christ possably. What about for a person who has been following Christ for a long time? I feel I have some deep wounds that have hurt my heart stings. Things that I can talk about that burn a little and somethings I'd rather not talk about that just make me misserable. I should be able to get over anything. This is about when a woman touched Jesus's cloak to be healed from 12 years of bleeding. Her faith knew the slightest thouch would heal her. I have moments when I take to myself and the Lord and he knows my wounds and how I'd like them handled. He has His way of making things go that I am not in control of and I need to let go of what I want to control. I guess I can be more of a control freak than I realise.
My son's Grandma for instance always wants to interupt me and take everything I say with a negative attitude. I had her come in one day for counceling and let her get things off her chest. She still wont listen to me. I know I can be rude to her too but I try to say what is on my mind that I feel is best for Caleb. If she would just listen that could make all the difference. I do not feel comfortable being around Jason nor Sue. They do not treat me properly. If Sue would just stop taking everything I say with a negative attitude then I could stop hurting. Maybe that isn't how God wants it to go for now. There are certain things we don't see the same between Sue and myself. She is probably always going to stand up for Jason's side.
In the end the best way for me is to let it go. That is the hardest thing to do cause I am a fighter. I am small but I can put my foot down through the tears that come. Everyone has their hurts. No one is perfect. I know I am certaintly not perfect. Maybe right now the best thing for me to do is surround myself with those that truly care and truly will listen. I doubt anyone reads these for now so I put it out there. But in case anyone does there is so much to this situation that not many know about.
I know my mom would have made an awesome grandmother. Sometimes I wonder how much more I can take but for now I will keep on fighting. Not fighting the Sue thing just life in general. For now I just keep praying and trusting God to make sense of all this madness. Who knows, maybe it is a blessing in disguise. God must think I'm stronger than I do to put me through all this mess. At least Caleb is healthy!!
I was snuggling earlyer with a sleepy Star, Josie and Caleb and felt so blessed God gave them to me to take care of. I hope I getto see my son grow up in to a man and graduate high school and all that and more!!
-Wendy
So the saying is time heals all wounds. I guess that means about how long it takes an individual to come to Christ possably. What about for a person who has been following Christ for a long time? I feel I have some deep wounds that have hurt my heart stings. Things that I can talk about that burn a little and somethings I'd rather not talk about that just make me misserable. I should be able to get over anything. This is about when a woman touched Jesus's cloak to be healed from 12 years of bleeding. Her faith knew the slightest thouch would heal her. I have moments when I take to myself and the Lord and he knows my wounds and how I'd like them handled. He has His way of making things go that I am not in control of and I need to let go of what I want to control. I guess I can be more of a control freak than I realise.
My son's Grandma for instance always wants to interupt me and take everything I say with a negative attitude. I had her come in one day for counceling and let her get things off her chest. She still wont listen to me. I know I can be rude to her too but I try to say what is on my mind that I feel is best for Caleb. If she would just listen that could make all the difference. I do not feel comfortable being around Jason nor Sue. They do not treat me properly. If Sue would just stop taking everything I say with a negative attitude then I could stop hurting. Maybe that isn't how God wants it to go for now. There are certain things we don't see the same between Sue and myself. She is probably always going to stand up for Jason's side.
In the end the best way for me is to let it go. That is the hardest thing to do cause I am a fighter. I am small but I can put my foot down through the tears that come. Everyone has their hurts. No one is perfect. I know I am certaintly not perfect. Maybe right now the best thing for me to do is surround myself with those that truly care and truly will listen. I doubt anyone reads these for now so I put it out there. But in case anyone does there is so much to this situation that not many know about.
I know my mom would have made an awesome grandmother. Sometimes I wonder how much more I can take but for now I will keep on fighting. Not fighting the Sue thing just life in general. For now I just keep praying and trusting God to make sense of all this madness. Who knows, maybe it is a blessing in disguise. God must think I'm stronger than I do to put me through all this mess. At least Caleb is healthy!!
I was snuggling earlyer with a sleepy Star, Josie and Caleb and felt so blessed God gave them to me to take care of. I hope I getto see my son grow up in to a man and graduate high school and all that and more!!
-Wendy
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Inspiration (Barlow Girls)
Barlow girls is a Christian band of sisters named Alyssa, Becca and Lauren Barlow. I love their messages in their songs. Here are a couple that I want to share.
(I don't regret) They're telling me they're concerned for the way I am living. That I'll miss it all why would I think that God is that trusting. I can't explain all the words He has spoken to my heart. Why I'd want him more. I don't regret choosing You. And I'm not ashamed. That it's You who holds my heart. Why do we think if we called out to follow You blindly. I won't fear You're leading me. I don't regret choosing You. And I'm not ashamed. That it's You who hold my heart. You have shown my ever wondering heart what love it. What on earth is more important that to have all of You. I don't regret choosing You. And I'm not ashamed. That it's You who hold my heart.
Conclusion : Maybe I don't always make the right choices and maybe in the past I have had my doubts. Maybe I don't always know the best choices for myself. Maybe I try to hard and give up to soon. Maybe I should just stop worrying and keep pushing through the storms. God is always there and I don't regret choosing Him to guide me and show me love. He is always there and always leading me and I have no reason to fear anything. Maybe I can't see Him and some people only believe what they say. Love is a gift that comes from God and I will not be shaken anymore and will trust blindly what I can't see.
One more song by the Barlow Girls. It is called "One more round."
Round one wasn't what I thought it'd be. Round two I'm stuggling to breath 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 times I wondered why I stepped inside this ring. I maybe knocked down and so bruised but I'm here to tell you... That I may be knocked down but not for the count. 1, 2, 3, 4.. So take me one more round. I'll just keep fighting. One more round. You're messing me up but I'm still here. One more round. I'll come out swinging. One more round. I'm telling you now I'm not gonna lose it here. It's so hard to get up off the floor again. But I know that victory is when... I'm pushing through the pain that tries to feed me lies that I won't reach the end. I may be bloodied and so bruide. But I'm here to tell you. That I may be knocked down but not for the count 1, 2,3, 4.. So take me one more round. I'll come out swinging. One more round. I'm tellingyou now I'm not gonna lose it. I am not defeated. Though you can not see it. I have never won a battle on my own. I find strenght in weakness. I find hope believing. God is for me who can take me down? So take meone more round I'll just keep fighting. One more round. You're messing me up but I am still here. One more round. I'll come out swinging. One more round. I'm telling you now I'm not gonna lose it here. One more round. I'll come out swinging. One more round I'm telling you now I'm not gonna lose it here. I'm not gonna go down now.. Try to bring me... I'll come out swinging.
Conclusion: This song is very inspirational to me in a situation I am going through right now. I don't talk about it much but I feel inspired to do so today. Caleb's other side of the family isn't very helpful with being a part of his life. they don't really listen to us. they claim to care but they don't really think outside of their box. I get very angry at them and it is very hard to talk to them on my own. This time around I am bring in other people who shall remain annonymous. I try to talk to the grandmother but she is alwyas coming up with some excuse why she can't be there for Caleb. I know life is hard but if I am not comfortable around Jason on my own they should all respect that. Sue doesn't really show love and it is very hard for me to love her back. She thinks she wants a relationship with me but really she doesn't cause when I try to poor myself out she gets up in my face about it. I want to her to only know about the Caleb part of my life. Anytime Jason does see Caleb he just sits there and only wants to observe him. How can I be comfortable around someone who was neglecting toward us and other issues that are confidential to me and God?
This song makes me feel that any time they try to prove me wrong I am not defeated I have God on my side. I am up for another round of arguing until they see how they are hurting us. Love doesn't come just once or twice a year or from off to the side of the room. Love is all serpassing and covers all wrongs. My God will not be put in a box any longer. He will protecting me and give me strength to keep standing up to them till they really learn what love is all about! This song speaks volumes to me and I suggest you look it up on youtube!!! THE END!!!
(I don't regret) They're telling me they're concerned for the way I am living. That I'll miss it all why would I think that God is that trusting. I can't explain all the words He has spoken to my heart. Why I'd want him more. I don't regret choosing You. And I'm not ashamed. That it's You who holds my heart. Why do we think if we called out to follow You blindly. I won't fear You're leading me. I don't regret choosing You. And I'm not ashamed. That it's You who hold my heart. You have shown my ever wondering heart what love it. What on earth is more important that to have all of You. I don't regret choosing You. And I'm not ashamed. That it's You who hold my heart.
Conclusion : Maybe I don't always make the right choices and maybe in the past I have had my doubts. Maybe I don't always know the best choices for myself. Maybe I try to hard and give up to soon. Maybe I should just stop worrying and keep pushing through the storms. God is always there and I don't regret choosing Him to guide me and show me love. He is always there and always leading me and I have no reason to fear anything. Maybe I can't see Him and some people only believe what they say. Love is a gift that comes from God and I will not be shaken anymore and will trust blindly what I can't see.
One more song by the Barlow Girls. It is called "One more round."
Round one wasn't what I thought it'd be. Round two I'm stuggling to breath 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 times I wondered why I stepped inside this ring. I maybe knocked down and so bruised but I'm here to tell you... That I may be knocked down but not for the count. 1, 2, 3, 4.. So take me one more round. I'll just keep fighting. One more round. You're messing me up but I'm still here. One more round. I'll come out swinging. One more round. I'm telling you now I'm not gonna lose it here. It's so hard to get up off the floor again. But I know that victory is when... I'm pushing through the pain that tries to feed me lies that I won't reach the end. I may be bloodied and so bruide. But I'm here to tell you. That I may be knocked down but not for the count 1, 2,3, 4.. So take me one more round. I'll come out swinging. One more round. I'm tellingyou now I'm not gonna lose it. I am not defeated. Though you can not see it. I have never won a battle on my own. I find strenght in weakness. I find hope believing. God is for me who can take me down? So take meone more round I'll just keep fighting. One more round. You're messing me up but I am still here. One more round. I'll come out swinging. One more round. I'm telling you now I'm not gonna lose it here. One more round. I'll come out swinging. One more round I'm telling you now I'm not gonna lose it here. I'm not gonna go down now.. Try to bring me... I'll come out swinging.
Conclusion: This song is very inspirational to me in a situation I am going through right now. I don't talk about it much but I feel inspired to do so today. Caleb's other side of the family isn't very helpful with being a part of his life. they don't really listen to us. they claim to care but they don't really think outside of their box. I get very angry at them and it is very hard to talk to them on my own. This time around I am bring in other people who shall remain annonymous. I try to talk to the grandmother but she is alwyas coming up with some excuse why she can't be there for Caleb. I know life is hard but if I am not comfortable around Jason on my own they should all respect that. Sue doesn't really show love and it is very hard for me to love her back. She thinks she wants a relationship with me but really she doesn't cause when I try to poor myself out she gets up in my face about it. I want to her to only know about the Caleb part of my life. Anytime Jason does see Caleb he just sits there and only wants to observe him. How can I be comfortable around someone who was neglecting toward us and other issues that are confidential to me and God?
This song makes me feel that any time they try to prove me wrong I am not defeated I have God on my side. I am up for another round of arguing until they see how they are hurting us. Love doesn't come just once or twice a year or from off to the side of the room. Love is all serpassing and covers all wrongs. My God will not be put in a box any longer. He will protecting me and give me strength to keep standing up to them till they really learn what love is all about! This song speaks volumes to me and I suggest you look it up on youtube!!! THE END!!!
Friday, May 13, 2011
worth the wait
I believe that some things are wort the wait no matter how badly I want something sooner than I get it. There are several things I can think of that I want to see happen immedeatly. Here is a story I found in the Bible about the subject. Many may know about the story of Abraham and Sarah. She was promised by God to have a child and to be the mother of many nations. She laughed at the thought of bearing a child past her years.
"Then the Lord said to Abraham,"Why did Sarah laugh and say, 'Will I really have a child, now that I am old?' Is andything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year and Sarah will have a son." Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, "I did not laugh." But he said, "Yes, you did laugh."
Genesis 18:13-15
"Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did for Sarah what he had promised. Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the very time God had promised him. Abraham gave the name Issac, to the son Sarah bore him. When his son Issac was eight days old, Abraham circumcised him, as god commanded him. Abrham was a hundred years old when his son Issac was born to him. Sarah said, "God has brought me maughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me."
This is proof that good things come to those who wait. Maybe it is not pharased exactly as such but here it is plain and simple. It is also good proof that nothing is too hard for the Lord.
I am reading a book called "Walking with the Women of the Bible." by Elizabeth George. It is a very good deveotional book. I love how she points out the womens thoughts in it. I feel now that somethings that haven't happened yet are so for a reason and if the things I am waiting for will happen it will be on God's will and timing not on my own. He will point me in the right directions and hold me close to him through it all. Maybe I am getting old too but I am not ancient and I still have a lot to learn. I am loving my God on a whole new level these days.
"Then the Lord said to Abraham,"Why did Sarah laugh and say, 'Will I really have a child, now that I am old?' Is andything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year and Sarah will have a son." Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, "I did not laugh." But he said, "Yes, you did laugh."
Genesis 18:13-15
"Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did for Sarah what he had promised. Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the very time God had promised him. Abraham gave the name Issac, to the son Sarah bore him. When his son Issac was eight days old, Abraham circumcised him, as god commanded him. Abrham was a hundred years old when his son Issac was born to him. Sarah said, "God has brought me maughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me."
This is proof that good things come to those who wait. Maybe it is not pharased exactly as such but here it is plain and simple. It is also good proof that nothing is too hard for the Lord.
I am reading a book called "Walking with the Women of the Bible." by Elizabeth George. It is a very good deveotional book. I love how she points out the womens thoughts in it. I feel now that somethings that haven't happened yet are so for a reason and if the things I am waiting for will happen it will be on God's will and timing not on my own. He will point me in the right directions and hold me close to him through it all. Maybe I am getting old too but I am not ancient and I still have a lot to learn. I am loving my God on a whole new level these days.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Inner beauty
It has been a while since I have written. I think I will pick Psalm 56:8-13 today.
"Record my lament: list my tears on your scroll - are they not in your record? Then my enemies will turn back when I call for help. By this I will know that God is for me. In God, whose word I praise, in the Lord, whose word I praise - in god I trust; I will not be afriad. What can man do to me? I am under vows to you, O God; I will present my thank offerings to you. For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before God in the light of life."
I like the whole thing but I think it si funny witht the last line inparticular "For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before God in the light of life." How many times I've stumbled on to my butt and crashed. Oh dear God you forgot to give me balance, I am far from graceful. I take martial arts and I'm still small and clumbsy. You still show how much You love me by knowing all of my tears and comforting me when I am sad and knowing when it is my turn to stand up to my enemies. I try to be nice but yet I have enemies. I often wish I was a taller more graceful woman. I remember falling down several stair cases in my day.
Yet still a couple days a go my cat got in the garage (at least it was closed). I grabed her but before I did I turn and slipped off the step and my ankle twisted and pooped. It's a good thing I have a strong ankle cause nothing happened too it. Thank goodness I do all that exercising to make my ankles stronger or it'd have problably broken or something. I am very prone to knocking things over in the grocery store as well. I do get caught up in my emotions and have nights of crying but I know I am doing better. Before I go humiliating myself in this entire blog I just want to think God one more time for loving such a clumbsy and emotional woman as myself. I will always be under vows to You. Even if the currency changes and removes "In God I trust," I will always trust in You. I know better now than to doubt. I know being sad is ok but so is moving on. God is soo amazing and I have known Him for a long time but I feel I am enjoying reading more of my scriptures these days. Hard to explain but true. I may be over whelemed but I am blessed at the same time. God is awesome cause He knows I wont be happy all the time He is there when I am deppressed too. At least I don't have to go this life alone or have to understand everything perfectly. Another way to prove how kind God can be.
"Record my lament: list my tears on your scroll - are they not in your record? Then my enemies will turn back when I call for help. By this I will know that God is for me. In God, whose word I praise, in the Lord, whose word I praise - in god I trust; I will not be afriad. What can man do to me? I am under vows to you, O God; I will present my thank offerings to you. For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before God in the light of life."
I like the whole thing but I think it si funny witht the last line inparticular "For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before God in the light of life." How many times I've stumbled on to my butt and crashed. Oh dear God you forgot to give me balance, I am far from graceful. I take martial arts and I'm still small and clumbsy. You still show how much You love me by knowing all of my tears and comforting me when I am sad and knowing when it is my turn to stand up to my enemies. I try to be nice but yet I have enemies. I often wish I was a taller more graceful woman. I remember falling down several stair cases in my day.
Yet still a couple days a go my cat got in the garage (at least it was closed). I grabed her but before I did I turn and slipped off the step and my ankle twisted and pooped. It's a good thing I have a strong ankle cause nothing happened too it. Thank goodness I do all that exercising to make my ankles stronger or it'd have problably broken or something. I am very prone to knocking things over in the grocery store as well. I do get caught up in my emotions and have nights of crying but I know I am doing better. Before I go humiliating myself in this entire blog I just want to think God one more time for loving such a clumbsy and emotional woman as myself. I will always be under vows to You. Even if the currency changes and removes "In God I trust," I will always trust in You. I know better now than to doubt. I know being sad is ok but so is moving on. God is soo amazing and I have known Him for a long time but I feel I am enjoying reading more of my scriptures these days. Hard to explain but true. I may be over whelemed but I am blessed at the same time. God is awesome cause He knows I wont be happy all the time He is there when I am deppressed too. At least I don't have to go this life alone or have to understand everything perfectly. Another way to prove how kind God can be.
Monday, May 2, 2011
part 7
Ok so I skip around alot with my verses but these are just reflections not ment to be sermons here. I'm just thinking out lout so to speak about what verse God has pointed me to contemplate over recently.
Here is another one about how gracious God is:
"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. Revelation 21:4
So Revelation is at the very end of the Bible. I use NIV by the way. I love how God takes away the suffering in heaven. I wont have to worry about loosing anyone I love any more. With mothers day coming up every year I feel a little pain of hurt. I mourn now in a healthy way and try not to beat my self up over it so badly. I just think that it'd be cool to see her as a grandmother gloating over Caleb. I think she'd be fascinated over him and how smart he is and what a smart alec he is as well. My memories of her a vague since I'm older now and I was ten when she died. I am so greatful for my friends I have as my support through raising Caleb on my own. Maybe my mom couldn't be here to watch this but I make up for it in an abundents of friendships. Some not so close as others as I wish they could be.
Some days here on earth seem so difficult and I struggle trying to under stand God. Now that I am older I have a better grasp of knowledge on my scriptures. His plan may not seem perfect to us and totally unfair. I heard this from a song and I will have to research who it is by, but she sang "these downfalls will make us stronger." Or something like that.
The whole no more pain will be great too. No one will break anything, diseases will be gone, no more hunger and corruption and no more natural storm disaters. This earth has come to be a scarey place at times. Lots of people are creeps out there and aren't safe but there are those good people out there that are christians. So for now I just pray for direction and comfort and for my friends healing as well.
Here is another one about how gracious God is:
"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. Revelation 21:4
So Revelation is at the very end of the Bible. I use NIV by the way. I love how God takes away the suffering in heaven. I wont have to worry about loosing anyone I love any more. With mothers day coming up every year I feel a little pain of hurt. I mourn now in a healthy way and try not to beat my self up over it so badly. I just think that it'd be cool to see her as a grandmother gloating over Caleb. I think she'd be fascinated over him and how smart he is and what a smart alec he is as well. My memories of her a vague since I'm older now and I was ten when she died. I am so greatful for my friends I have as my support through raising Caleb on my own. Maybe my mom couldn't be here to watch this but I make up for it in an abundents of friendships. Some not so close as others as I wish they could be.
Some days here on earth seem so difficult and I struggle trying to under stand God. Now that I am older I have a better grasp of knowledge on my scriptures. His plan may not seem perfect to us and totally unfair. I heard this from a song and I will have to research who it is by, but she sang "these downfalls will make us stronger." Or something like that.
The whole no more pain will be great too. No one will break anything, diseases will be gone, no more hunger and corruption and no more natural storm disaters. This earth has come to be a scarey place at times. Lots of people are creeps out there and aren't safe but there are those good people out there that are christians. So for now I just pray for direction and comfort and for my friends healing as well.
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